Spoilers don’t do cruises.

Okey, I’ve seen the premise of disgusting privileged rich people gorging up on their status and abusing decent folk in the service industry before. Lately it feels this premise has been used in a lot of features that I’ve been watching, all of them in different genres and varying levels of execution. I can honestly say, this one was at the bottom. I couldn’t stand any of this characters. Yes, I get it’s a satire and a dark comedy where the rich get their comeuppance and we’re given some cathartic vindication. Didn’t work for me, awards and all.

(Credit: NEON)

Triangle of Sadness (2022) was written and directed by Ruben Oslund. Fashion models Carl (Harris Dickinson) and Yaya (Charibi Dean) are a couple, which Yaya being the trendy one thanks for her influencer side hustle and Carl being an insecure mess. They board a private cruise for the wealthy and privilege, where cruise director Paula (Vicki Berlin) makes sure every server in the boat knows they must cater to the guests’ every whim regardless how ridiculous and illegal it might be. Not getting the message is Captain Thomas Smith (Woody Harrelson), who spends most of the time drunk in his cabin.

Yes, this is a satire and a very dark comedy that has won several awards. When at some point one of guests requests that everyone in the crew must try the slide, dragging the cooks and the cleaners off their assigned duties to ridiculously make a line to satisfy this whim is just pure cringe. The supposed top funny moment of the film is basically the Captain and Russian oligarch Dimitri (Zlatko Burić) getting drunk during a storm while the rest of the passengers vomit and get hurt falling down the stairs or falling off the toilet. Yes, most of these people are privileged and some of them have made their money in very immoral businesses, but the visual is to see old people vomiting and being thrown to the floor. Doesn’t quite spell funny to me, and feels cruel – yes, regardless of how much we’re supposed to hate them.

The ship later is hijacked by pirates who throw a grenade. By coincidence, a couple finds it who have made their money selling weapons so the ensuing explosion is supposed to be karma. The ship sinks and the survivors, most of them rich passengers, end up in a deserted island for the second half of this long film. This is where we’ll meet Abigail (Dolly De Leon), a cleaner who soon realizes that from her skills to make a fire, catch fish and cook food she is now able to control her past employers. So we get social commentary as she is now at the top of the social ladder, even to the point of forcing Carl to become her companion in exchange for food and privileges. Now that she has the power, she becomes what she once hated or worst. There’s the commentary without the two hour and a half runtime.

Not recommended. Yes, it had Oscar nominations and won some awards including the Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival. Dolly De Leon’s performance has received critical praise. The film is just long and since it’s dreary and dull it feels even longer. I wasn’t rooting for anybody in the film to do anything. Nothing feels engaging or entertaining to watch. Perhaps your experience will be different. Not worth a watch in my book.

That will do for now.