Series Issues: Game of Thrones takes us Home

Take a deep breath now. Spoilers will rise.

There’s something about to happen in the second episode of Home. First of all, there’s no news update from Dorne. Instead we get a beyond the wall visit with Bran as he envisions Winterfell in the olden days, back when Ned was a kid and Benjen Stark… Ok, hold your horses. Benjen Stark joined the Night’s Watch. He disappeared. Yes, that guy. His fate is still unknown. More important, we also see Lyanna. This is a coincidence but not for us, the show is just reminding us of a few seemingly unrelated things. Honestly, if they’d thrown in a visiting Rhaegar Targaryen that would have been a little too obvious.

So, Tommen… Ugh. Sorry, he’s just dull. Nothing exciting there. I don’t believe for a moment that Cersei has forgiven her son for not letting her attend Myrcella’s funeral. I also think he probably did it because he doesn’t want to be seen with her mother. I also can’t really stand the High Sparrow. If there’s anybody watching the show who hasn’t figured out since day one that the Faith Militant is a obvious reference to the damage that religious zeal can do with a little power, you’ll need another site to explain it to you. Knight’s Landing is just dreadfully crappy right now.

The power shift in the Boltons is not unexpected. At some point in time, it was going to be clear that either Ramsay was going to kill his father or… No, scratch that. This was the only thing that we all expected was going to happen some day. Roose Bolton, we hardly knew you. Walda Frey, we hardly knew you. Unnamed Bolton heir, you were dead the moment that your birth was announced. Of course Ramsay would use the dogs. Negative karma points are stockpiled bright boiling lava red hot to the clouds against Ramsay. I mean, even Joffrey would’ve told him to chill with the cruelty thing for a minute.

So, the Ironborn. I do love these guys (We Do Not Sow!) and their devotion to the Drowned God, but I always need to look up who’s who. Specially since you will recall that Asha Greyjoy was renamed to Yara Greyjoy because in TV land it was too close to Osha (the wildling). With Balon dead, Yara’s chances of taking the throne diminishes. Her uncle, Aeron, reminds her that the King of the Iron Islands is chosen by Kingsmoot. Remains to see if this election system will be a direct adaptation from the books, but chances are good for Euron Greyjoy, aka, “Crow’s Eye” will aim for the throne.

My apologies, but Meereen seems a little bit empty without Daenerys. With the fleet of ships burned to ashes and the Sons of the Harpy running free, it’s time for Tyrion to try something desperate. In all honesty, it does seem like Tyrion is just winging it (hahaha!) at this point. Slaver’s Bay is all but back in the slavers’ hands right now. Why release the dragons? Well, why not? They’re rotting in the dungeons and refusing to eat. They might as well go out there and create a distraction while reminding everyone the Mother of Dragons is coming back. It doesn’t make sense for Dany to just show up, chances are there is something she must learn/obtain/win at Vaes Dothrak. Perhaps she’ll find some consigliere who have some idea of how to keep the fear and/or respect of the populace.

Okey, enough. It’s Wall time.

Yes, time is up. Alliser Thorne wants the door broken down now. It does, but not the door he was expecting. Dolorous Edd has brought the cavalry, which means the wildlings take Castle Black. Not a huge prize, and not hard to do when you have a giant on your side. So now it’s time for Melisandre to conjure up some magic. Not a man to dance around it, Ser Davos comes right out and says it. This is what we came for, woman! Ok, I’m paraphrasing, he was a little more supportive. The spell, which involves a haircut in which she feeds the flames with locks of Jon Snow’s hair, doesn’t seem to work. Tormund walks out. Melisandre walks out. Ser Davos lingers, but walks out too leaving only Ghost to react to it.

Breathe, Jon. Welcome back.

Highs/Lows/Deaths

Roose Bolton dies at Ramsay’s hands. Honestly, that thing you say about behaving like a mad dog would sound wiser if you were not a man who’s been keeping a mad dog under his own roof for a long time now. It shouldn’t have come like a surprise.
Balon Greyjoy. Honestly, he can’t have been the first nor the last of the Ironborn Kings to die this way. House Greyjoy needs to remain in power, and it seems Euron Greyjoy is really vying for the position, given that he was responsible for the vacancy. Also, with the history of the Iron Islands, let’s face it. He fits right in.
Okey, I admit. I like the Ironborn. They’re just misunderstood.
Yes, there was not much to say with Brienne, Sansa, Podrick and Theon. Okey, one thing. When Sansa tells Brienne that she should’ve gone with her to start with, I hope that somewhere there’s a blooper reel in which Gwendoline Christie yells “No shit, Sherlock!” at Sophie Turner.
Jon Snow returns, and with him, the big theories of his heritage. At this point, is there anybody who hasn’t heard the theory that R+L=J? Was it too much that Lyanna Stark herself appeared in Bran’s vision in this episode too?
One of the brothers of the Night’s Watch decides to fire at the giant. He ends up splattered. That was a Westeros equivalent of an after-school special. Don’t fire arrows at giants, kids.
Arya Stark seems to finally have either passed or just endured her time as a blind beggar. I’m pretty sure they can give her back her vision, but I fail to see what she’s supposed to have learn of the experience. Never disobey orders?
Oh yeah, Bran’s vision. Remember the time several years ago when you started reading Game of Thrones and were enthralled with the political maneuvering and the intrigue and magic was absent? Well, that time is past. It’s all magic and dragons and ice zombies from now on.

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