Spoilers want a crossbow.

Honestly, it’s not bad. Okey, it’s not really that good either. Truth is, this is one of those films that does very little to redeem itself and yet I can’t help but like watching it. It’s not a diamond in the rough. It’s a very run-of-the-mill clumsy attempt at creating a new lore out of a fusion of classic monster stories, but it does have some heart. Just know the cgi is getting a bit dated by now. Perhaps even more by the time you get around to watch it.

(Credit: Universal Pictures)

Van Helsing (2004) is written and directed by Stephen Sommers. Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) works for the Church (three chances to guess which one and the first two don’t count) killing supernatural monsters. He’s sent to Transylvania to stop a plot by Count Dracula (Richard Roxburgh) which also involves Dr. Victor Frankenstein’s monster (Shuler Hensley) and a Werewolf. He also will have to deal with Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale) who’s also the latest in a line of monster slayers.

There is just so much thrown into this film. It’s very entertaining albeit cheesy and corny, but I’d watch this over a hundred holiday family classics (yeah that season is coming soon aaargh). The sets are amazing and our heroic protagonists are rather likeable. Obviously this film might be using the horror theme but it’s more of an fantasy action film with some light comedy thrown into it. Yes, this is one that you watch with the popcorn bucket beside you.

It only works for pure visually cheesy entertainment value. Set your expectations low and make sure you have your suspension of disbelief roaring to go. You’ll have to squint through some cringy dated cgi and some tacky dialog but there’s a few bright spots where it all comes together. It’s one of those films where you don’t take things that seriously and might discover you either up for some fun silly antics or you’re not.

Lightly recommended with popcorn for late night and/or with a peanut gallery of smartalec friends for commentary. Obviously this one’s for pure entertainment value so it’s a fun flick to add to your tablet to watch during that long flight or bus ride. Worth a watch if you’re in the mood for some cheesy fun.

That will do for now.