I’m trying to use some of the lessons learned on my other blog to apply to this one. One of the things I love doing is categorizing, so back there I have my Inside Speak Now, Editorial (which technically is every entry here), Tour Talk, Fan Spotlight and The Cutting Room Floor. The Dream Network is the idea of just commenting on dreams I have.
My recollection of this dream starts, as usual, with me in the middle of something. I’m on some trip that seems work related, I have a colleague that is working with me, the city seems like it has been cool for both of us but I’m missing home and it’s time to leave. There’s this assistant who’s a local and she’s with the company that we’ve been working for (that’s shades of my Mexico years for sure, but this city seemed a bit more european although I never saw the city, then again I have never seen Europe either). She’s helping us both get to the airport but the logistics are messed up. I have a zillion bags for some reason, I can’t manage to find her. My colleague splits to go get her and then is when she shows up with a car. Then it’s me in a car with her and someone else driving and all of my bags. Somehow the airport is in another city and we have to go there. As I’m riding literally on top of my bags, she’s talking on the phone next to me and I’m realizing that we’ve forgotten my colleague and I haven’t checked if all my bags are in the car.
Cut to some confusing stuff and it’s like I’m reminiscing back to what was spending time away from home, and suddenly I’m remembering that while I was away in this business trip I had a video chat with my Dad and he showed me some stuff from my homeland and that made me cry that I haven’t been there in a while (oh guilt, you always want the starring role). But my Dad is happy that I am visiting and suddenly it’s clear to me that I’m not going home to Montreal but that I’m going to Ecuador… and then it feels like I correct myself and I am in Ecuador, somewhere in the garden of my parents’ old house which is huge in dreams.
Some reality mixes into all this as I realize that I will have to do the 4 and 5 hours of flights three times, once to return to Montreal and twice more since I’m going back to Ecuador for the holidays (this last part is true, I am going back there for New Year’s in the real world) and of course I am not a fan of flying but this one trip back will prepare me for the ones later.
(I know I am using run-on sentences. They seem just accurate to define how events happened in the dream state)
Suddenly the hedge wall that surrounds my garden seems to be surrounding my bed, the way my bed is in Montreal (where my boxes of comics are, and actually where I’m writing this), I’m laying on my bed and there’s… rats. The imagery is not as repugnant as a horror movie. I am not horrified. There is no doom, but there is annoyance. Right next to me where my nightstand should be there’s one huge one as big as my arm and she’s just given birth. There’s no blood or anything. She’s almost a puppet, not cute but just a bit repugnant and there’s a crease in her stomach that somehow means she’s the one that’s given birth to the rest of the rats that are hidden in the hedge. I have to pick up my sandals, which are the old wooden ones I used when I was younger, and kill it. There is no blood or guts, it’s just me having to kill it. In the back of my mind, I know it needs to be done but it’s just such a hassle that I feel like I could just leave her there and not think about it, but more rats would come out.
So I do. Takes a couple of blows. Then she’s dead (again, no blood – one of her eyes pops out but just as a plastic ball from a doll). The other rats are moving and I have to find them and kill them. There’s not a lot, just three or four. My movements are like molasses on the initial hit but then determination takes over and really smash them until they don’t move. One is almost a larvae. They are not disgusting or bleeding, just mere annoyances that I could just ignore but I don’t want to because they would grow larger.
End scene. I wake up.
Trips and flights I’ll put in the same box to say, I remember the hassle. In the dream I make it all sound like a bigger deal than they are. I do try to make the best of it when I’m flying. It’s still a pain, but once I go through a really annoying stage of the process like customs, I have the ability to forget it quickly. I did enjoy my trip to Nashville because it was short. But forgetting it (instead of obsessively focusing on how long it’s taking) is a bit like getting myself in a trance. The whole deal in the dream was for the logistics of just making it to the airport. I never saw the plane.
The family part is a given. There’s the guilt but also my Dad is pretty easy going and we share some tech geekness moments that I’ve learned to appreciate. This might be the first time I address Ecuador by name. In all my blogs I usually say “the homeland” which is a bit weird. It’s not as disorganized today as I remember when I was traveling to Mexico. It was probably not that disorganized even back then, I just tend to paint my old country in a bad light most of the time.
The rats are the easiest to interpret. These are all my unfinished business. All issues from my past that I’ve never addressed. Everything old that needs just to be dealt with and forgotten. Past loves, hatreds, guilt, remorse. Those are all my rats. Most of them need to just be let go and forgotten but some require action. They can’t live at the hedge in the back of my bed anymore. I can’t just ignore them. They have to be addressed and killed.
After making it to Canada, a lot of my frustrating dreams have this personal element of determination. I’ve dreamed about faceless bullies that beat me up in kid version and somehow I’ve suddenly reacted and kicked their asses. Rats are not scary. Next time, I need to dream up a big mallet and go to town.
That will do for now.