I can’t sleep. 4AM.

A little of what happened this past week. I got raging mad at a customer at work. I didn’t take it out on the customer though. I bottled all that inside and… aimed it back at my friends on facebook. I also went batshit crazy on a good friend of mine and I almost lost her. I’m slowly re-adding people on facebook again. But I haven’t had this much rage in me in a long time. That is my old life coming back. That was Ecuador. That should’ve stayed behind.

I always feared that I’d come to Canada too late. That I was broken beyond repair and my character traits were set in for good. I had hopes when I started meeting people here again that my old self was gone forever.

But I know better. We’re all capable of feeling tempted to lash out. I must be a better person by finding a HEALTHY way to get it out of my system. As the week progressed I seem to be feeling better.

J broke up with H. I was expecting it, not that it would be any less hurtful. J seems to be better this time around. Hopefully he will keep himself busy and find a way to deal.  I think he’s better at dealing that he gives himself credit for. We went out, I needed a bite and he needed to talk.

I fell asleep and woke up at 2 am. I’ve done everything but going back to bed.

PS3 crazyness. I finally finished the 500 GT burning route on my Burnout Paradise game. I love this sh*t. I also finished a Road Rage with the GT Nighthawk. 17 takedowns required, 20 takedowns scored! I moved on and got my Burnout License now 🙂

I had some demos downloaded since the other night. I just played a few. I like the Red Baron Arcade game. WWI biplanes and tricky controls but simple gameplay 🙂 There’s also a couple of games I might want to buy. Strange what I like these days, I haven’t managed to get back into Oblivion or Metal Gear. I can’t think of going into GTA 4 anytime soon.

However, I need to pay off my credit card first. I bought the plane tickets for my dad and sister and for me as well. I also got us tickets for le Cirque du Soleil. I also kept spending a lot after that.

My cellphone might end up needing a plan. I ran out of minutes before the month was over.

I also talked at work about increasing my contribution to my RRSP to get the full 18%. That will be for the next one.

I need some sleep. I’m going to be a zombie tomorrow.