Yeah now it’s six am.
Yeah, yeah. But it’s also a name I came up with myself playing with the names of the Goddess of Night (Nox or Nyx). I was trying to come up with a name for a demon entity that served her. Anyway, more on that later or perhaps never here.
I started this blog to vent out my frustrations at not being able to say what I want in other blog-like spaces. The fact that I can’t include the word "bitch" or say "kill" while describing my mood… well, I see why it’s reasonable not to use violent phrases and put them in writing. I certainly would regret it later. But it makes me feel constrained that I can’t use them.
In this blog, with no identity, I feel I can talk about anything. Even better, I can WRITE about anything which is a really good cathartic (YAY I got to use this word again) exercise.
Am I violent inside?
As I came back from work the other day, I had my ipod on but I could still hear a couple homeless beggars talking and one said "fucking immigrants go home" while I went by. Yes, I am an immigrant. I walked on by but took off my earphones and looked back. I could manage to hear something from the guy saying "hey, he heard me" or something along those lines. The street was somewhat crowded so we neither got a good luck at each other.
This was close to home. I left my backpack, changed shirts and walked by again. This time the street was almost deserted. Was I about to get in a fight? The bums didn’t recognize me and said hello. I said hello back. They asked for money.
Did they pretend not to recognize me? It was dark at the time, and when I went back I had a different shirt, no backpack, and my english happens to be quite good. Over the phone, few people can realize I’m latin.
Yeah I gave them some coins.
And I gave away some personal info, Oh noz! Yes, I’m latin. Half-chinese actually. Most people see my asian dark complexion and think of the Philippines. This annoys me for some reason. Perhaps I’m racist. I’ll do a blog on being a mutant later.