Explanations

Yeah now it’s six am.

From Wikipedia:

Nocton is a village 10 kilometres (7 miles) south of Lincoln in Lincolnshire within the North Kesteven area of the county, within the East Midlands region of the United Kingdom

Yeah, yeah. But it’s also a name I came up with myself playing with the names of the Goddess of Night (Nox or Nyx). I was trying to come up with a name for a demon entity that served her. Anyway, more on that later or perhaps never here.

I started this blog to vent out my frustrations at not being able to say what I want in other blog-like spaces. The fact that I can’t include the word "bitch" or say "kill" while describing my mood… well, I see why it’s reasonable not to use violent phrases and put them in writing. I certainly would regret it later. But it makes me feel constrained that I can’t use them.

In this blog, with no identity, I feel I can talk about anything. Even better, I can WRITE about anything which is a really good cathartic (YAY I got to use this word again) exercise.

Am I violent inside?

As I came back from work the other day, I had my ipod on but I could still hear a couple homeless beggars talking and one said "fucking immigrants go home" while I went by. Yes, I am an immigrant. I walked on by but took off my earphones and looked back. I could manage to hear something from the guy saying "hey, he heard me" or something along those lines. The street was somewhat crowded so we neither got a good luck at each other.

This was close to home. I left my backpack, changed shirts and walked by again. This time the street was almost deserted. Was I about to get in a fight? The bums didn’t recognize me and said hello. I said hello back. They asked for money.

Did they pretend not to recognize me? It was dark at the time, and when I went back I had a different shirt, no backpack, and my english happens to be quite good. Over the phone, few people can realize I’m latin.

Yeah I gave them some coins.

And I gave away some personal info, Oh noz! Yes, I’m latin. Half-chinese actually. Most people see my asian dark complexion and think of the Philippines. This annoys me for some reason. Perhaps I’m racist. I’ll do a blog on being a mutant later.

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